Opening Doors

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So there are these doors inside the Art and Yoga Studio.  I have opened these doors a hundred times.  There is a certain order that comes into play with these doors, and if you don’t follow the order, you won’t get the thing open.  I do know the order of course, but today while I was opening it again, I noticed that even though I know the order, I still always go about opening this door, exact opposite of the right way.  Why is this?

I suddenly hear my friend Cathy’s voice from long ago saying – “why do you always take the hard road?”.  I have heard her voice a few times saying this to me over the years.  Another time her words rang out, I had gotten off the boat on the Aran Islands with my bicycle and a handy map that the boat guy had passed out to show the proper way of traveling the island.  Apparently there is an uphill way, and a downhill way.   I of course, instinctively threw the map in my bag, and knew I would find the perfect way.  After passing everyone going the opposite direction, I looked at my map and realized why they made a map to begin with.

But to my defense, if I didn’t go this way, I wouldn’t have stopped at the little Irish pub, red-faced and melting, where i met all the local old-timers who have lived on that island their whole lives, and I got to hear all their stories, and

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their woes, (and their propositions to ‘come lay across my bed Love’) . Or I wouldn’t have stopped at that labyrinth of rock walls where I found myself lost for hours, trying to find my bike, but having a pretty powerful personalexperience as I wandered this.  It is actually, one of my favorite experiences in my life so far.

So, back to these doors.  It really made me think.  It was kind of like my friend’s poem he read me once about a man IMG_2553falling into a hole, falling into the same hole, learning to walk around the hole, and then finally finding another road.  It’s not completely the same, but that poem rings in me a lot.  Oh wait, here it is …

There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia NelsonChapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately,

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I know I make a lot of the same mistakes.  I have, at least.  But now, I am learning to walk down another road.  Or maybe I am simply getting to the part where you walk around it.  Either way, I’m a few steps in.

DOOR, you and I will dance again. IMG_2555

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