So far, I have found that I have wanted to go outside and find a spot that is beautiful, because I find it really helps me start that slower breathing. There was a couple of times though, when being outside in the elements wasn’t happening, so I found myself asking questions like, can I meditate in my car? Just pull over, and meditate anywhere? or does there have to be some kind of ritual around it? Some special place? I am a ritual person, so I tend to want to do that anyway, and the questioning comes from not feeling quite complete without something special happening around it. I figured out that pulling off the side of the road in the rain and sitting in my miata worked pretty good for me. That was special enough.
I also found myself wanting to open my eyes and focus on something each time. It seems when I do that, i get what feels like ‘tired’, or dizzy eyes, and then I am able to close my eyes, and it feels easier to get to a quieter place? Then I can keep them closed. But it has been hard for me to keep my eyes closed the complete 20 minutes; especially at the beginning.
With regard to that feeling of ‘tired’, I guess another question I had was, am i sleeping? Did I just take a nap? Because a couple of times that’s how it felt. And I am not a napper. I am a power sleeper. If i go down for a ‘nap’, you better give me at least four hours. I had wished at times I was a power napper, but that’s simply a tease for me. So the likeliness i took a power nap seemed kind of weird. but it sure did feel a little bit like a nap.
I did find a nice place by the lake to sit this week. I noticed though, that there was far too much for me to get into (access to rocks, driftwood and more wonderful findings is hard for me to resist. Always looking for something to put into artwork… it’s a constant for me. ) then there was the little island across the way that i usually paddle out to in the summer with Gracie and go camping. Then I started wondering if she could make it over this year as her leg has gotten worse. Stuff like that was somewhat distracting to why I was there, and even though I had the beauty in nature, I found I actually preferred to go back into my car and just be there to avoid the distractions. I may need to be distraction free for this for a while.
I am happy i had a friend to bounce some of this off, and now I can put it out there to see what other thoughts generate.
Quieting my creative mind is challenging.